Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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