it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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