We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
