Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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