then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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