The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
