the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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