She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
