I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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