FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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