oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
