I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
