return my video game
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
