I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
