i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
