You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
