so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
