His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
