I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
