Only a mothe r could love this liver
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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