cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
