Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
