he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
