remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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