i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
