My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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