I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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