dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
