You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize