Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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