What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
