oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
