I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
