She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize