Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
