His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
