yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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