I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
