Non-Jews are for practice
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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