I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
