i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
