mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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