I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize