I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
