just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
