with your own penis?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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