...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize