Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
