I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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