Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize