will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
