how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I queefed so loud it echoed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize