I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
