@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
