is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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