I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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