My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
