I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
