If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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