this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
