Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
