I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
