what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
