Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
