I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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