my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
