There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
