Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
