I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
