New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
