Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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