I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
