R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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