did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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