i already hear my dad disowning me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
