It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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