oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
