Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
